issue 1 (page 1)

I was choking and you were on the other side of the door
I don’t like to use single lowercase ‘I’s.
Maybe that has some kind of deeper meaning.
It doesn’t matter.
I didn’t use lowercase I’s when I wrote that poem on top of the parking garage,
when you said that you couldn’t be with me anymore.
Some guy said that the weather was nice.
I passed out and hit my head on the hood of the truck.
In my head I thought, ‘I am passing out’.
The ‘I’ was capitalized.
I came in to your work just to see you and to hear you.
I went home to think about this and how I heard you very clearly when you said,
‘I don't believe you.’
That was the night I realized that I don't know how to say goodbye.


This food isn’t as good if I can’t reach out and put my hand on your knee
I want to rob a bank very calmly.
I would just walk in and say to someone working there that I want a lot of money.
I would have a brown bag with a dollar sign on it.
They would fill it up with money and then I would thank them and leave.
I would come home and go on eBay and buy you everything that you ever wanted.
I would feel content and calm.


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keegan crawford co-runs a 'depressed/suicidal/art/poetry' zine distribution called 'midnight society'.  he plays guitar in an emo-violence band called 'alexander korda'.  you can find him lurking around at koof.tumblr.com.  he's vegan, all of his pants are black, and he may or may not be drinking ginger ale right now.

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